Saturday, December 02, 2006

Missed Toilet Sex

After suffering through the last few days with 5 hr sleeps, overslept and missing classes, snowstorms, downtown illegal u turns, and 70 page reports, I am finally here again

on Wendesday i went to Blanch McDonalds graduation fashion show to see what this 'school' was chugging out every year

what i found was surprisingly impressive creatives, but lacking in the sewing skills for many

but my body was numb and couldn't focus for my life after what happened at intermission

i was out in the portfolio area when i caught the glance of a man that was catching my glances too. He was semi balding with a goatee, and dressed fairly well in his chocolate shirt and dark brown jacket. Probably in his 40s we exchanged glances and he stopped collecting name cards from student's portfolio.

I stare at enough ppl to know that this was really a 'glance-back'. And i had to quickly rid my camera borrowed from my friend and start following his glances in the crowd. It was completely intoxicating and i was so aroused i didnt even focus on the possibility that i might be having a hard on while i was walking. He lead me with his eyes above the crowd, and he stopped at a table somewhat remote from the crowd. I wanted to just say hi. Just say hi. But i walked past the table, and stood, feeling completely akward and pretended to read everything i could have laid my eyes on, i went upstairs, hoping he would come up with his red wine and we can just chat.

I watched from above on a banister for him searching for me. I guess i walked up too fast. He saw me right before he walked under the banister and i was sure he was going to walk up, despite the obvious approach i was more than willing to let him demostrate the interest some more.

He didnt come up and went straight to the washroom on the first floor.

I didn't know what to do and i went back downstairs, feeling foolish and stood near the washroom door, as akward as ever. all this time i just rehearsed what i was going to say to him, ' hi thanks for wanting to suck my cock, but i have a bf, wanna be friends insteand?'

I honestly thought that sounded okay.

He came out of the washroom and saw me, he led me this time, more aggressively than before, with his head. I followed him further from the crowd, and we went through twisted halls. I had no idea where he was taking me, and little did i find, another washroom.

He was already inside and this time i was stuck.

Not going in felt rude, and i will never get a chance to talk to him. Going in will mean i wanted to have sex. I thought, i will have to go in and say my shtick.

So i went in.

he was standing next to a urinal. I rolled my eyes in my mind, you just came from the washroom silly. i thought. i thought he might approach me finally, but he didnt. And i DIDNT want to go pee next to him. I looked at him, he turned his head and sorta did a tight smile. I finally gathered enough courage and said, 'hi'.

'Hi' he said.

'I am sorry, i mean.. . i ' suddenly i felt presumptious but at the same time i was sure he wanted sex. I figure it was my nerves.

he seemed like he already knew what i was going to say and just nodded.

'it s okay' he said.

'I have a boyfriend' i blurted. ' I am sorry. .. I .. um'

'Thats a shame'.

I left the bathroom. and i felt like wait, didnt i want to be his friend? I couldnt believe myself but i went back in, and said ' do you want to talk or something?'

he smiled and said sure.

In retrospect, i think it was outta akwardness but he nodded. I stood waiting for him to zip up and go already. but he didnt move, and still face the urinal. I said 'o i will wait for you outside'

it is only now i realized he was waiting for his boner to soften

i can be such a tard sometimes.

we chatted, he was from Clarins, marketing guy too. but he didnt seem too interested in what i had to say about myself. I felt akward and soon we went back to the crowd. and me to my friends who think i am straight.

I thought, 'i couldve had sex just now and you woulndt have even know it!'

more disturbingly, i tried to google his name, his position anything, but i couldnt find him, he might have given me a fake name
i dont know why i wanted to contact him

i feel weird because i know i wont cheat, maybe i just love the possiblity

tomorrow: @ emily carr

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