Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Day Two

The second night of ignoring dirk. feelings are blocked from escaping into the air with my tight lips and sealed heart.

It was most difficult lying in bed next to him. Dancing with words around the topic of my sudden coldness to him. Its tempting me to release my emotions and frustrations into this world. To let him know how upset i am that not only did he never really think of any ways to make me trust him more, but that he actually lied to me some more and deleted internet histories.

It is fruststrating he doesnt recognize why i am upset, and rather me explain it to him . . . again. Due to his long work shift, he wasn't exactly the best conversationalist, but then again he always nodded off when talking in bed.

I was able to escape actual real conversation, and just had my usual conversation with him pausing, falling asleep between sentences. It was the usual method of communication, telegrams that i tapped carefully and sent off to a place far, far from where i am.

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